The 2016 Tonys were wonderful; an uplifting escape just when we needed it most, and so many lovely Hamilton folks poured out beautifully emotional acceptance speeches that filled our hearts. If only we could have kept our eyes closed, it might have been the perfect show. Just kidding … kind of. There were some strange and terrible fashiony happenings, I’m afraid, and we’re going to have to face them together. This week, we’ll go worst to best so, at the very least, you’ll have something to look forward to at the end.
The Worst: Honestly, I cannot think of a sadder dress than this Stella McCartney poor Saoirse Ronan found herself in (she couldn’t have worn it on purpose, could she?). In a flesh-toned bandage that drains any bit of life from this gorgeous girl, its almost as if she has erased herself. Perhaps that’s not even her, rather … dun dun dun … the ghost of Saoirse Ronan.
This is going to come as a shock, so go ahead and hug yourself. You ready? I don’t think you’re ready.
Cate Blanchett, who is so often impeccably dressed, wore this Louis Vuitton — I assume it’s a sartorial joke zooming high above my head — with a top that brings to mind those tuxedo t-shirts (you know the ones: white, with a painted-on bow tie and ruffles?). The bra part isn’t even painted on straight! I imagine Cate is chuckling to herself as fashionistas everywhere try to make sense of it and declare it a win because … Blanchett!
A little ditty of flack and Diane
This American kid grew up in New York-land,
Doing movies took a girl faaar,
Diane wore a zebra, send her back to the car … oh, yeah, life goes on.
I’ve looked high and low across the interwebs, and no designer has made the claim as yet. I can’t imagine why!
Please, won’t somebody help Rose Byrne? Bobby Cannavale just isn’t enough. This Thakoon is HIDEOUS.
Not Horrible, Not Yet a Good Thing:
Renée Elise Goldsberry is wearing wrapping paper that I have personally used to cover presents. It may be Marc Jacobs wrapping paper; nonetheless, that’s what it is. Despite the dress, she looks stunning. I do actually like the cut of it and, were it not striped, it might have worked.
Daveed Diggs is a gorgeous rainbow in human form, and that story he told about his dad doing a preschool performance (in rainbow tights) with him was the sweetest. I don’t even mind the mishmash and flower sleeves on his Comme des Garçons; it’s the ill fit that bugs. Still … rainbows and preschool!
“Not too terrible” is about the best I can work up for Michelle Williams’ Louis Vuitton. I’m quickly finding myself not a fan of the ruche thing which, in theory, is supposed to minimize or hide flaws, but in reality, draws more attention to them (not that Michelle has any). This is just too much, and then it sort of clings to her lower legs like it doesn’t know what to do after the ruching stops. Those lips, though …
Keri Russell is really taking this Russian spy thing all the way. Everything about her hair and make-up looks so severe, and I’m pretty sure that Monique Lhuillier dress is the long version of an Olympic ice dancing costume. Because of the flower placement, it’s also reminding me of a band uniform jacket, only with spectacular cleavage. But, if Keri Russell’s show decides her character should pretend to run a Russian brothel, this is definitely the outfit she should wear.
I want to love this Michael Kors, but I can’t! Jane Krakowski has a beautiful figure, but, instead of accentuating it — and I don’t know if it’s the shape of the V, or what exactly — the dress is unflattering. Overall, it’s not bad, but it does not do Jane justice at all.
As Larry David would say (Yay! Curb Your Enthusiasm is on its way back to HBO!): Pretty, Pretty Good:
Danai Gurira’s Rosie Assoulin is, overall, so beautiful on her. The color is pure sunshine, and the bottom flows like a modern take on a 50s dress. I don’t love the way it fits around the bust; it sort of smashes everything down like a pancake, and nobody wants pancake boobs. I mean, maybe pancakes in the shape of boobs, but not actual pancake boobs.
Jake Gyllenhaal in boring, safe Salvatore Ferragamo … still, it’s a damned good Salvatore Ferragamo.
I love the color of this Juan Carlos Obando on Uzo Aduba, and even the shape, but the material is all wrong, and some of the seaming is wonky. That said, she looks gorgeous overall.
Simply the Best:
The more I see Lupita Nyong’o in this Jason Wu (for Hugo Boss), the better I like it. It’s simple, elegant and very summery; the fit is amazing. I mean, she is Lupita though … sometimes I’m not sure we can allow the dress any credit at all.
I’ll say the same thing I said on Facebook when I first saw him: Helloooooo, Daniel Dae Kim. He’s wearing somebody … and, really, who cares which designer? Let’s just keep looking.
Goddess. This is a lovely, extremely flattering shade of yellow on Lucy Liu. Her Zuhair Murad is the teensiest bit over-embellished for my taste; no matter. It’s stunning on her, and the low cut front keeps it from being too princessy … though I’ll gladly curtsy for our queen.
Common. That is all.
Happy Friday, y’all!