Let’s start this thing off right. Alexander Skarsgård stopped by GMA and looked like this. He’s wearing a simple white button-down and well-fitting pants, and he looks like a god. Breathe.
Can we talk about how excellent Jeff Goldblum looks at all these Independence Day: Resurgence press events? Also, why is Independence Day having a resurgence, and will anyone actually go to that movie? On purpose? Anyway, I love his shirt.
Man in Black.
And, now, a tale of two opposites. First up: the milquetoasty, lesser Hemsworth in a super-blah suit. I mean, even he’s ashamedly bored.
Then we have his polar opposite, Jared “The Joker” Leto, resplendent in Gucci against a neon background. Are those Colonial buckle boots?
After that, we’re going to need a gentlemanly cleansing, and here it is. Luke Evans in gorgeous, green Salvatore Ferragamo. Yes, please.
On to the ladies.
Elle Fanning in Gucci done just right. I love this dusty pink on her; it’s a different take on the princess thing.
Blake Lively’s Carolina Herrera is a princess’ dream of another sort; though not many people could get away with this (pregnant, no less!), I think it works here.
Unfortunately, her David Koma does not. And this kicks off a little asymmetrical run of dresses that bug. Lively’s look is like a chopped up, stretched out gymnast’s leotard that — no matter how great a figure one has — is simply too tight. Just looking at it gives me a feeling of wearing control-top pantyhose … over my entire body, and I may now be hyperventilating.
It’s not horrible, Taylor, but why? It looks like someone took a bunch of leftover material from Schilling’s Osman dress and draped it across her like a beauty pageant sash. Don’t even get me started on those shoes; I inexplicably despise them. Maybe if she’d gone with a punch of color — some sky-high strappy heels — this could have been a better look.
I … do … not … understand … this … (Dion Lee) dress. Just, BLECH, gag, vomit, hurl. The shoes are like the shriveled, moldy cherry atop a melting, nonfat, blueberry yogurt blob. Rebecca Hall, you deserve better.
I must hand Charlotte Gainsbourg the WHAT THE WHAT? award this week. I mean, WHAT THE WHAT? I don’t even have words. Well, maybe …. How about “What happens when you sit down? Do you know you’re no longer on the Nymphomaniac set? Please tell me you’re wearing shorts under there.”
Cleansing couple? Matthew Broderick and SJP: she in Emmanuel Ungaro and her own brand of shoes. They both look a little rumpled, but they’re still together (19 years!) and seeing them makes me feel nostalgic.
Is that it? Is that the note we end on? No, we simply can’t. How about Rihanna wearing thigh-high furry boots in the middle of summer?
Kate Beckinsale in a giant, pink bow? I actually love her dress, but have an overpowering urge to run up to her and … I must rip off that bow.
Look, maybe we should just exit on a natural fashion high this week. Yes? YES. And, take a deep, cleansing breath ….
Now, here are Christen Press and Dwayne Wade in their own beautiful skin.
(photos via ESPN)
Happy Friday, y’all.
