In News That Martin Shkreli Hasn’t Yet Learned, an Actual Adult Doesn’t Need to Say, “I’m a Grown Ass Man”


If you’re a “grown ass man” bested by 17 year old boys, maybe for once you should consider shutting your dipfuck mouth. Just a polite suggestion.

Poor Martin Shkreli is as empty and sad as can be after the world has taken proper joy in letting him in on the übercool news that a group of high school students in Sydney, Australia have synthesised pyrimethamine. The active ingredient in Daraprim, a drug used to treat HIV and Malaria (which Shkreli infamously raised in price from $13.50 to $750.00 per tablet), was recreated by chemistry students at Sydney Grammar as part of University of Sydney’s Open Source Malaria Consortium at a cost of approximately $2.00 per dose.


hermcheerAfter many Twitterers posted the exciting news to Shkreli’s page, the “most hated man in America” responded in his predictably blustering manner, proving yet again that he has the mentality of an angry toddler.

A grown ass man? Dude, you haven’t even approached maturity yet, so I’m assuming you’re talking about your age or height, neither of which are under your control or impressive. As for “man”, I’d like to see the genetic testing that actually proves you a member of the human race, because so far, there’s nothing outwardly indicative. An actual mentally mature person wouldn’t live the life of fucking over and being an utter asshole to the rest of his species, nor spend a single moment putting down kids for trying to help others, and as most people have learned by elementary school, have the need to boast about his manliness. But, you just keep being you, Shkreli; looks like that’s working out really well.


Cindy Davis

Cindy Davis has been writing about the entertainment industry for ​over ten years, and is the ​Editor-in-Chief at Oohlo, where she muses over television, movies, and pop culture. Previous Senior News Editor at Pajiba, and published at BUST.

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