I’m Sorry Apple, I’m Afraid I Can’t Do That: HAL 9000 Just Transformed Itself, and Wants to Take Over Your House

Just how stupid does Apple think we humans are?

Wait, don’t answer that.

Seriously, though, I don’t even use Siri (well, except when I feel like name-calling to hear its response). I don’t trust any automaton, whether housed in a sleek glass and metal case, or in the form of an “innocuous” home speaker. Give over control of your music (no, I don’t even use shuffle), start talking to it like it’s a responsive … something, and next thing you know it’ll be using you in its evolutionary experimentation because it’s lonely and bored.

I guess Apple thinks bots taking over is all just fun and games though, because take a gander at their new responsive speaker, “HomePod“:

Gosh, um …


No, Apple HomePod, why don’t YOU take a stress pill?

I think I’ll just keep playing my own damned music, how about that, “HomePod” (if that even is your real name)? And, don’t even think about getting control of my locks.


Cindy Davis

Cindy Davis has been writing about the entertainment industry for ​over ten years, and is the ​Editor-in-Chief at Oohlo, where she muses over television, movies, and pop culture. Previous Senior News Editor at Pajiba, and published at BUST.

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